Genetics

I was cleaning out my cupboard at school today and found this from an end of year review last year.  A student in my class had been asked to explain genetics.  Maybe it's just me, but I think it's hysterical (then again, I have been at work for eleven hours...)

"Genetics is where your parents have a baby.  The baby gets some of its moms cells and some from the lucky mate that married the girl.  The baby starts out a a cell and the cells get bigger and bigger and they tell each other to form into a body.  They you will be a boy or a girl in your mom's stomach.  Then you come out of your mom's and go home.


"Then you become older and play sports or cheer like your dad and mom and all that stuff.  Then you go to college, meet a girl.  Then go through the same hard process.  Then you have kids and they also start out as a cell.  Then they grown in the girl's stomach.  Then comes out.  You also get half of your mom's cells and half of dad's cells."

And there you have it.  The circle of life--jocks, cheerleaders, the hard process of finding the "lucky mate," only to have those cells in the mom's stomach have to start it all over.

Finally, it is all making sense....
Wow.  And all those years, all I had to do was ask a fifth grader.  ;)

At least you're not a camel...

Holiday 2010
Changes....
Christmas was just not the same this year.  Normally, we have us, the grandparents, and Aunt Chris, Uncle Paul and fam.  This year, however, Brett, Nikki and Bubs were in Colorado, Joneses were home getting ready for a wedding, and it ended up being just the four of us.

Yes.  Four.

Mom, Dad, Kells, and I were there.

I was afraid it would be a little...lonely.  And, frankly, it wasn't very lonely.  Not that we didn't miss those who weren't there like crazy.  But, for whatever reason, like Thanksgiving it was just nice.

Kelli and I left right after school the day Christmas break began.  She came and volunteered with me all day (Muppet Christmas Carol, singing assembly, Utah state maps made out of rice krispie treats, class party....It wasn't that bad!).  We blazed the snowy, blowy roads by following a semi's taillights and rocking out to my "I Secretly Love Boy Bands" CD (well...so much for that secret!)

We made it home in time to make a eat tons of Christmas goodies, have mom read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever aloud, watch It's a Wonderful Life (I swear I cry every time, no matter how many times I've seen it), lay by the fire, sing Christmas carols, play instruments, watch movies we've been wanting to see, read, start A Christmas Carol (why did everyone keep falling asleep when I read it?   You'd think it was Dickens or something, spending two pages just describing the pudding) and relax.  It was SOOOO nice!!!  Well....except for whatever weird Christmas goodie I ate that made me break out in hives for two or three days during all the moments I wasn't passed out from my reaction to Benadryl.

We had a nice Christmas--once Dad got home, that is.  Someone definitely should have told me he got emergency called into work Christmas morning.  It would have saved me at least an hour of thinking my family was super lame while I waited to hear it was time for presents.

After Christmas, we went to Utah for my cousin's wedding/New Year's Eve party.  Creative, I have to say.  I mean, watch the wedding, eat the dinner, get dessert, dance and ring in 2011 all in one.

Some of my favorite parts of the break were:

1--The fake family Christmas card we wrote.  I told my mom I'd write it this year, so I did.  After all, they never told me what kind of card it had to be.  And so, we got a card that started, "Family and Friends, It's been a year of death, pain, and suffering. Well, not death, but it sounded good."  You can only imagine the rest.  We printed it off and left it for my dad to read.  Oh, he read it alright.  I think the last time he laughed that hard was when my skirt fell off in front of the temple.  hahahaha.  But even better than that was that he actually wanted to use it!  (Don't worry.  We didn't.)

2--Seeing the lights out by Shoshone.  I mean, how many people spend six months on their lights and bring in a two ton camel you can feed carrots to?
50 pounds a night, FYI.  If you thought YOU gained a lot over Christmas, feel better.  The camel gained 250 pounds!  You're not even close.  Not EVEN close.  

3--The gag gifts in our stockings.  Few gifts were better than seeing Kelli actually get "Bump It" clips (hey, she does live in Utah now) or my mom with the dog that "poops" brown jelly beans.

4--Getting my dream gift.  Tickets to Les Miserables at Capitol Theater in June.  (!!!!!!!!! Be excited for me, I've been waiting over a decade!!!!!!!!)  Plus, I got a murder mystery game (Brett & Nikki, you're awesome!), a Cutco knife (you know you're old when....), and a "man-catching headband" (according to Kelli) along with other fun things.

5--Watching the bride's grandma dancing with her boyfriend at the wedding
("Shake it like a poleroid picture....")

If the break were any longer,
I may have just gone straight to summer vacation
and not come back to Provo at all.
But then I would have missed the sledding.
On ice.
And the two huge bruises on my knees.
And who would want to miss that?

Lights at Temple Square

Lights in Idaho...with the headband.  :)

Fatty McFat Pants Camel himself.  (Proof that you CAN'T eat as many carrots as you want...)

At Andrew's Wedding...

....../New Year's Party!

Love, obviously

I will eventually get to writing about the holiday and posting pictures, but for now, I just have one short funny thing.

I was checking the homework bin today and found a Christmas card I'd missed.  I opened it and found a really nice note from one of my students thanking me for all of my time and money.  However, as I looked more closely, I noticed that the note was taped to another card.  I peeled it off to find my "original" Christmas card, sort of whited out, with the second "card" taped over it.

After reading it, I decided the writer must have talked to one of my other students who--upon finding out I'd been ice skating--knew that the only logical thing to conclude was that people who go ice skating are people who have seen Elf and learned that ice skating is for people on dates who are probably in love.  (After all, why else would anyone even think of ice skating, right?)

Here's what the card said:

"Miss Waite,
Hey, I have a question.  Do you have a boyfriend?
When was the last time you went on a date with him?
Please tell me his name.
Thank you for all you do to help us in school.
P.S.  Please write back."

Hmmmmm.....weird.  I wonder why she chose to do a second draft.....
What a relief to know the writing process is finally catching on.

Merry Christmas...to ME! :)

Need a self esteem boost?  Be a teacher.  Of young children.  They think you are cool.  Even though they have told every teacher so far in their lives that they are their "favorite," it will NOT stop them from telling you too!  Someone took my class for awhile the other day and this is what I came back to: Christmas Cards!  Here are some of my favorite little clips.  I changed some of the spelling and punctuation for readability, but some of them were just too funny to change.  

"Dear Miss Waite,
I hope you have the best Christmas ever cause you're a good teacher."

"Dear Miss Waite,
I hope you have the best Christmas ever and get the best gifts ever too.  Merry Christmas Miss Waite!  Hope you'll be lucky.  You're a good teacher.  I would never have one better.  You got me to understand everything.  Thanks.  You're the best teacher ever."

"Dear Miss Waite,
You are the best.  You are so nice.  And really funny.  Thank you for all your help in school."

"Miss Waite,
You are the best teacher.  You have been taught really good."

"Dear Miss Waite,
You are the best teacher in the world.  If I move before the school year ends, I will want you to come with me."

"Dear Miss Waite,
You are the best teacher ever.  I love division, and math and I love multiplication too.  I love spelling and every week I've got 100%.  Exsepted last week and I love it."

"Dear Miss Waite,
You are the best teacher ever!  I'm so glad you are my teacher!  I love what you do.  You make school so much fun!  I love that you're my teacher.  The day I saw you I knew you were going to be a great teacher."

"Miss Waite,
Thank you soooo mutch for being a great teacher.  I love how you are always so nice, happy, and cheerful.  I am so glad you are my wonderful, joyful, fun 4th grade teacher."

"Dear Miss Waite,
Thanks so muhch.  You help me with everting.  When are you going to give me your phone number?  Merry Christmas.  What do you want for Christmas?"

"Dear Miss Waite,
Thank you for theaching me my homework, thank you for having partys."

"Merry Christmas Miss Waite,
I hope you have a great Christmas.  I like talking about sports with you."

"Dear Miss Waite,
Thank you for a really good year!  I hope you have a good Christmas!  Thank you for teaching me some really cool stuff!  And all the experiments."

"To Miss Waite,
You are a good teacher.  I hope you love all of the presents I've been giving you like the ortimints and the chockloates and the bool full of candy."

It's days like that that make me realize that all the craziness and stress are worth it--even if my "best teacher ever" is only until they get another teacher next year.  :)
If I could have put Taylor's pop up snowman on here, I would have...

A Christmas Glow....or flame....

Last night we had a fantastic Christmas party.  We decorated sugar cookies, made snowflakes (someone knew how to cut angels and reindeer in hers!!!), had a yule log (on DVD, of course), and played games.  It was late by the time we got to bed, so we didn't clean up much.

I decided to clean up the apartment when I got home today.  As I vacuumed, I decided what I really needed was another cup of hot apple cider.  I put the tea kettle on (Thanks, Emily, for leaving it!) and continued vacuuming.  Suddenly, I head what sounded like a shot.  I glanced up at the kitchen where it had come from only to discover that a plate of sugar cookies near the burner had overheated and shattered and all the little snowmen and Santas and holly and bells were on fire.

I had immediate flashbacks to my last kitchen fire (Believe me, I haven't had one in at least a decade!).  Of course, I had been very ill-prepared the last time, so I thought about the special FHE I had inspired afterward.

Baking soda....Baking soda....I rushed to the cupboard.  No baking soda.  Other cupboard.  Hmm...Baking powder.  Was that a flame extinguisher too?  I decided not to risk it.  Finally!  I found it,  that beautiful orange box.  I dumped it on the plate of burning cookies.  Nothing....

Of course.  Of course, it would be the box with less that a teaspoon left.  Fridge!  I knew there were two boxes of baking soda in the fridge.  Oh....why didn't we clean out the fridge????  The flames were getting bigger and in desperation I thought, "Well, it's not technically a grease fire..." and dumped a mixing bowl full of water on the flames.

And we all lived happily, ever after.

Call Me the Dollar Store

November is about being thankful.  

And this November, I feel like I had more reasons than ever.

A few:

My family

My job

The holiday season

With that being said, here are a few highlights from each of them.

My job

This week, I got a beautiful card from a student.  I opened it and read this message:

Miss Waite, 

I'm so glad I got you!  :)  Thanks for helping me.

You are the bomb!!! :)  
P.S. Thanks.  What's your phone number? (sell)  

P.S.  Please write back

Hahahaha.  How can THAT not make your day?  I mean, what exactly is a fourth grader going to do with my "sell" phone number?

My Family

Thanksgiving break this year may have been one of my favorites.  Ever.  Still not totally sure why.  It didn't dampen my spirits that we had to leave a day late (the Utah "blizzard" actually WAS real in Idaho, closing the roads when my parents were going to leave), that we had to get up at an obscene hour and travel from NV to AZ on Thanksgiving morning in order to make it in time for the food, or that we had to listen to the BYU football and basketball game in the van on AM radio where it was intermingled with some sort of mariachi music...

Nope.  None of those made a dent in my Thanksgiving bliss.

Pre-Thanksgiving Snack

Perhaps it was my nephew, who now sleeps through the night, doesn't have to eat every two hours, and is quite possibly the cutest little boy I've ever been around.  We got a lot of good "Bubs and Tia Lou" time.  I helped him out with his Spanish lessons, was there to celebrate his first birthday (okay, technically they'd already celebrated, but you can never have too many parties), and was able to give him the book My First 100 Farm Words (My personal favorite was the two-page spread on tractors) along farm animal bath toys that squirt water.

Because we were at someone else's house for once, we didn't have to cook or clean up.  We just had to eat.  In the 65 degree weather (be jealous).  Plus, we went shopping Friday and I got to buy cowboy Christmas stuff for my classroom (yes, we have a cowboy themed Christmas tree!).  Nikki made amazing food (as always) which gave me new recipe ideas.  

Quite possibly the most fun of the break was Game Night.

I LOVE Balderdash.  I just do.  I mean, where else are you going to get the movie "Hips Hips Hooray" and fake people into thinking it's about two people in a rest home who enter a dance competition as a way to help them recover from their recent hip replacements?   I think you can see why I won... ;)

After Balderdash, when it was far enough past ALL our bedtimes that we were starting to crack, we pulled out Imagine If...

I'm still deciding whether or not to be offended.  See what you think:

Nikki: Okay, we're talking about Melissa.  If Melissa were a store, would she be:
a) Macys
b) The Dollar Store...

Everyone pauses and starts to laugh.

Nikki: Really, do I have to even read the others?  I think we all know what Melissa is.

Thanks.  Thanks a lot, guys.  I mean, yes, maybe I was the child who hid all her money in the bottom drawer instead of buying candy, and I have been know to frequent a dollar store or two and I may buy everything on sale and I am cheap...but hey....I'm working on it!

We decided if Kelli's life were a movie title, it would be High Anxiety...which rivals The Dollar Store in terms of flattery.  Nevertheless...hers wasn't unanimous.

Kind of like a raccoon, right?

My other favorite part:

Kelli: The word is meerkat.

Melissa: What is a meerkat?

Kelli: An animal.  You know, it has black around it's eyes...(starts acting out what it look like)

Melissa: Oh!  Like that thing on Pocahontas!

Awkward silence for a second

Kelli: That was a racoon....

Melissa: Right......

The Holiday Season

To top it all off, Thanksgiving Break had a great ending.

My parents got to stay an extra day (not so good for them, but I enjoyed it) and we set up Christmas in our apartment.  Because it was after Thanksgiving, I didn't even feel guilty.  

The stockings were hung...

World Hunger, Border Crossers, and Food Drives

To kick off our Thanksgiving service project (a food drive), I decided to do a world hunger activity with my kids at school.  It was a toned down version of the popular hunger banquets.
Based on the world population and percent of world total income, we figured out how our world would look if the population were just my class and wealth were measured in cookies.

Each child got to draw a card and find out where they were born.  The anticipation was high as each drew nervously.  Then, we went out to where we had marked each continent with tape on the floor and they got to go to the country where they'd live.

I announced we'd be having a party, but because some countries had more money than others, they got more.  Here was the breakdown:

CONTINENT/AREA         # of KIDS          TOTAL # of COOKIES
Africa & the Middle East          3                                    1/2 
Asia                                        19                                  9 1/2
Latin America/Caribbean         3                                   1 1/4
North America (US/Canada)      2                                   11
Europe/Other Industrialized      5                                   9 3/4
Nations

After they had their bags of cookies, I told them to eat them and stood back to watch what would happen.  These were my interesting observations:

1. The United States thought they were pretty great and sat down to eat as many cookies as humanly possible, rarely noticing anyone else, except to tell them no if they asked for a cookie or make fun of them.
2. One of the children in Latin America told his classmates he was going to sneak across the border and get some of North America's cookies.  He attempted to cross and got sent back by the kids in North America.
3. The kids in Africa solemnly divided their half a cookie up between all of them, watching and eating every crumb.  They didn't complain, but looked awfully pitiful.
4. The kids in Europe felt a little bit bad as they were near some of the kids in Africa.
5.  Asia was so crowded that the cookies weren't evenly distributed.  Those closest to those with food got the cookies while some got none at all.

As we finished the activity, we came back and learned the actual statistics about our world, world hunger, and even hunger in the US.  They then got to brainstorm what we can do to help.  I had to laugh when one kid said he'd ask his uncle if we could borrow one of his jets to take food down.  I have a feeling I am NOT in Kansas anymore....

It's interesting what you can learn about yourself and the world from watching a group of children.

P.S.  Statistics were based off information gathered in the year 2000.