I was cleaning out my cupboard at school today and found this from an end of year review last year. A student in my class had been asked to explain genetics. Maybe it's just me, but I think it's hysterical (then again, I have been at work for eleven hours...)
"Genetics is where your parents have a baby. The baby gets some of its moms cells and some from the lucky mate that married the girl. The baby starts out a a cell and the cells get bigger and bigger and they tell each other to form into a body. They you will be a boy or a girl in your mom's stomach. Then you come out of your mom's and go home.
"Then you become older and play sports or cheer like your dad and mom and all that stuff. Then you go to college, meet a girl. Then go through the same hard process. Then you have kids and they also start out as a cell. Then they grown in the girl's stomach. Then comes out. You also get half of your mom's cells and half of dad's cells."
And there you have it. The circle of life--jocks, cheerleaders, the hard process of finding the "lucky mate," only to have those cells in the mom's stomach have to start it all over.
Finally, it is all making sense....
Wow. And all those years, all I had to do was ask a fifth grader. ;)
Friday, January 21, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
At least you're not a camel...
Holiday 2010
Changes....
Christmas was just not the same this year. Normally, we have us, the grandparents, and Aunt Chris, Uncle Paul and fam. This year, however, Brett, Nikki and Bubs were in Colorado, Joneses were home getting ready for a wedding, and it ended up being just the four of us.
Yes. Four.
Mom, Dad, Kells, and I were there.
I was afraid it would be a little...lonely. And, frankly, it wasn't very lonely. Not that we didn't miss those who weren't there like crazy. But, for whatever reason, like Thanksgiving it was just nice.
Kelli and I left right after school the day Christmas break began. She came and volunteered with me all day (Muppet Christmas Carol, singing assembly, Utah state maps made out of rice krispie treats, class party....It wasn't that bad!). We blazed the snowy, blowy roads by following a semi's taillights and rocking out to my "I Secretly Love Boy Bands" CD (well...so much for that secret!)
We made it home in time to make a eat tons of Christmas goodies, have mom read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever aloud, watch It's a Wonderful Life (I swear I cry every time, no matter how many times I've seen it), lay by the fire, sing Christmas carols, play instruments, watch movies we've been wanting to see, read, start A Christmas Carol (why did everyone keep falling asleep when I read it? You'd think it was Dickens or something, spending two pages just describing the pudding) and relax. It was SOOOO nice!!! Well....except for whatever weird Christmas goodie I ate that made me break out in hives for two or three days during all the moments I wasn't passed out from my reaction to Benadryl.
We had a nice Christmas--once Dad got home, that is. Someone definitely should have told me he got emergency called into work Christmas morning. It would have saved me at least an hour of thinking my family was super lame while I waited to hear it was time for presents.
After Christmas, we went to Utah for my cousin's wedding/New Year's Eve party. Creative, I have to say. I mean, watch the wedding, eat the dinner, get dessert, dance and ring in 2011 all in one.
Some of my favorite parts of the break were:
1--The fake family Christmas card we wrote. I told my mom I'd write it this year, so I did. After all, they never told me what kind of card it had to be. And so, we got a card that started, "Family and Friends, It's been a year of death, pain, and suffering. Well, not death, but it sounded good." You can only imagine the rest. We printed it off and left it for my dad to read. Oh, he read it alright. I think the last time he laughed that hard was when my skirt fell off in front of the temple. hahahaha. But even better than that was that he actually wanted to use it! (Don't worry. We didn't.)
2--Seeing the lights out by Shoshone. I mean, how many people spend six months on their lights and bring in a two ton camel you can feed carrots to?
50 pounds a night, FYI. If you thought YOU gained a lot over Christmas, feel better. The camel gained 250 pounds! You're not even close. Not EVEN close.
3--The gag gifts in our stockings. Few gifts were better than seeing Kelli actually get "Bump It" clips (hey, she does live in Utah now) or my mom with the dog that "poops" brown jelly beans.
4--Getting my dream gift. Tickets to Les Miserables at Capitol Theater in June. (!!!!!!!!! Be excited for me, I've been waiting over a decade!!!!!!!!) Plus, I got a murder mystery game (Brett & Nikki, you're awesome!), a Cutco knife (you know you're old when....), and a "man-catching headband" (according to Kelli) along with other fun things.
5--Watching the bride's grandma dancing with her boyfriend at the wedding
("Shake it like a poleroid picture....")
If the break were any longer,
I may have just gone straight to summer vacation
and not come back to Provo at all.
But then I would have missed the sledding.
On ice.
And the two huge bruises on my knees.
And who would want to miss that?
Changes....
Christmas was just not the same this year. Normally, we have us, the grandparents, and Aunt Chris, Uncle Paul and fam. This year, however, Brett, Nikki and Bubs were in Colorado, Joneses were home getting ready for a wedding, and it ended up being just the four of us.
Yes. Four.
Mom, Dad, Kells, and I were there.
I was afraid it would be a little...lonely. And, frankly, it wasn't very lonely. Not that we didn't miss those who weren't there like crazy. But, for whatever reason, like Thanksgiving it was just nice.
Kelli and I left right after school the day Christmas break began. She came and volunteered with me all day (Muppet Christmas Carol, singing assembly, Utah state maps made out of rice krispie treats, class party....It wasn't that bad!). We blazed the snowy, blowy roads by following a semi's taillights and rocking out to my "I Secretly Love Boy Bands" CD (well...so much for that secret!)
We made it home in time to make a eat tons of Christmas goodies, have mom read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever aloud, watch It's a Wonderful Life (I swear I cry every time, no matter how many times I've seen it), lay by the fire, sing Christmas carols, play instruments, watch movies we've been wanting to see, read, start A Christmas Carol (why did everyone keep falling asleep when I read it? You'd think it was Dickens or something, spending two pages just describing the pudding) and relax. It was SOOOO nice!!! Well....except for whatever weird Christmas goodie I ate that made me break out in hives for two or three days during all the moments I wasn't passed out from my reaction to Benadryl.
We had a nice Christmas--once Dad got home, that is. Someone definitely should have told me he got emergency called into work Christmas morning. It would have saved me at least an hour of thinking my family was super lame while I waited to hear it was time for presents.
After Christmas, we went to Utah for my cousin's wedding/New Year's Eve party. Creative, I have to say. I mean, watch the wedding, eat the dinner, get dessert, dance and ring in 2011 all in one.
Some of my favorite parts of the break were:
1--The fake family Christmas card we wrote. I told my mom I'd write it this year, so I did. After all, they never told me what kind of card it had to be. And so, we got a card that started, "Family and Friends, It's been a year of death, pain, and suffering. Well, not death, but it sounded good." You can only imagine the rest. We printed it off and left it for my dad to read. Oh, he read it alright. I think the last time he laughed that hard was when my skirt fell off in front of the temple. hahahaha. But even better than that was that he actually wanted to use it! (Don't worry. We didn't.)
2--Seeing the lights out by Shoshone. I mean, how many people spend six months on their lights and bring in a two ton camel you can feed carrots to?
50 pounds a night, FYI. If you thought YOU gained a lot over Christmas, feel better. The camel gained 250 pounds! You're not even close. Not EVEN close.
3--The gag gifts in our stockings. Few gifts were better than seeing Kelli actually get "Bump It" clips (hey, she does live in Utah now) or my mom with the dog that "poops" brown jelly beans.
4--Getting my dream gift. Tickets to Les Miserables at Capitol Theater in June. (!!!!!!!!! Be excited for me, I've been waiting over a decade!!!!!!!!) Plus, I got a murder mystery game (Brett & Nikki, you're awesome!), a Cutco knife (you know you're old when....), and a "man-catching headband" (according to Kelli) along with other fun things.
5--Watching the bride's grandma dancing with her boyfriend at the wedding
("Shake it like a poleroid picture....")
If the break were any longer,
I may have just gone straight to summer vacation
and not come back to Provo at all.
But then I would have missed the sledding.
On ice.
And the two huge bruises on my knees.
And who would want to miss that?
 |
| Lights at Temple Square |
 |
| Lights in Idaho...with the headband. :) |
 |
| Fatty McFat Pants Camel himself. (Proof that you CAN'T eat as many carrots as you want...) |
 |
| At Andrew's Wedding... |
 |
| ....../New Year's Party! |
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Love, obviously
I will eventually get to writing about the holiday and posting pictures, but for now, I just have one short funny thing.
I was checking the homework bin today and found a Christmas card I'd missed. I opened it and found a really nice note from one of my students thanking me for all of my time and money. However, as I looked more closely, I noticed that the note was taped to another card. I peeled it off to find my "original" Christmas card, sort of whited out, with the second "card" taped over it.
After reading it, I decided the writer must have talked to one of my other students who--upon finding out I'd been ice skating--knew that the only logical thing to conclude was that people who go ice skating are people who have seen Elf and learned that ice skating is for people on dates who are probably in love. (After all, why else would anyone even think of ice skating, right?)
Here's what the card said:
"Miss Waite,
Hey, I have a question. Do you have a boyfriend?
When was the last time you went on a date with him?
Please tell me his name.
Thank you for all you do to help us in school.
P.S. Please write back."
Hmmmmm.....weird. I wonder why she chose to do a second draft.....
What a relief to know the writing process is finally catching on.
I was checking the homework bin today and found a Christmas card I'd missed. I opened it and found a really nice note from one of my students thanking me for all of my time and money. However, as I looked more closely, I noticed that the note was taped to another card. I peeled it off to find my "original" Christmas card, sort of whited out, with the second "card" taped over it.
After reading it, I decided the writer must have talked to one of my other students who--upon finding out I'd been ice skating--knew that the only logical thing to conclude was that people who go ice skating are people who have seen Elf and learned that ice skating is for people on dates who are probably in love. (After all, why else would anyone even think of ice skating, right?)
Here's what the card said:
"Miss Waite,
Hey, I have a question. Do you have a boyfriend?
When was the last time you went on a date with him?
Please tell me his name.
Thank you for all you do to help us in school.
P.S. Please write back."
Hmmmmm.....weird. I wonder why she chose to do a second draft.....
What a relief to know the writing process is finally catching on.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)