Ways to say I'm sorry

5th Grade has been full of adventure. They are supposed to get a 4 (meaning they were on good behavior) whenever they go to classes like art or P.E. Last week, the girls got a 3 and the boys got...well...a zero. I don't think that's been done in the history of P.E. at this school, but it happened. So, I got to come up with a punishment that would fit the crime. They boys missed two recesses, the girls one, and everyone had to write an apology. Some were so funny I couldn't resist sharing.

"Sorry for being bad in P.E. I am sorry for screwing around when we were supposed to jump."

"I'm sorry for what we did in P.E. Some of it wasn't our fault. Next time we will be better at P.E. I'll even try to make ______ and _______ (students' names) be more mature." (Put that tattling plug in, kid!)

"Sorry! We were bad in P.E It was not really me. I only did not Freeze! when you told us to. I will help my class be better and sometimes me too. I like to jump Rope. and I liked your recipe for your cake. We ate it for my mom's birthday. P.S. I like P.E. the best. Plus the grils (yes, it was spelled that way) only have to stay in one recess which is not fair!" (You'll be better only sometimes or you only need it sometimes?....Now that is a great question!)

"I am intensely sorry that the boys in Miss Waite's 5th grade class were not following the rules. Furthermore, I pledge that I, _______, will set an example to my fellow boys. Not only will I set an example, but I also cooperate and follow the rules." (Oooh..."intense" sorrow. I like it!)

"I'm sorry that us boys were even worse than the girls." (Now THAT's something to be sorry about!)

"I will help my classmates to be more in control. We are having to miss recess. Boys-2 Girls-1." (Just for the count.)

And there you have it. Remorse from the depths of their little 5th grade hearts. Maybe they get it from me, the teacher whose first spoken sentence upon this planet was, "Brett did it." No time like the present to learn accountablity, eh? :)

Adulthood Disasters, Day 2

I thought I was going to do well with this "adulthood" thing. I was employed. I had a real job with benefits. And insurance. I survived my first day of teaching fifth grade. It appeared I had this whole "real world" thing down.

Boy was I wrong.

Little did I know I'd only make it ONE DAY before catastrophe struck.

Tuesday, I left the house at 6:45 am to go to work (as if I'd be on the road at that time otherwise!). As I got onto the freeway onramp, I came to a curve and began to brake, as it was not a particularly snowy nor icy morning. Nevertheless, without warning, my car began to slide. Because the onramp is high-up, it is surrounded on both sides by cement barriers, which left me about 2 feet to stop sliding before I crashed. I attempted to turn the wheel to avoid the barrier and lost all control.

Have you ever secretly wondered what it's like when airbags come out? I finally got to find out. Although, that first hadn't exactly been on my bucket list--despite my curiosity. Nor had what it feels like to get slammed in the face by one. Don't worry. My slam into the cement barrier (which I imagine looked somewhat similar to the guy who jumped his car on New Year's Eve) gave me firsthand experience.

Good News: *I was uninjured other than the normal aches and headaches.

*Nice people stopped to help me and call 911.

*My school was very understanding and even did my sub plans for me!

*Insurance said they would replace the cement barrier I destroyed if Provo comes after me (Like I need that on my list of monthly expenses!).

*My roommates spent the whole day with me.

*I hadn't put gas in my car the day before like I was going to (all I could think of sitting there at the crash site was, "Good thing! THAT would have been a waste!!!)

* No other cars were involved.

* People from work are helping me get there.

Bad News: *I got a citation and have to go to court (I think they thought I fell asleep, which I definitely didn't).

* I am in serious need of a shoulder/neck massage

*My soul-mate of a car is dead and gone. Totally totaled. :(

*I need a new car....

*My poor guardian angel is getting sick of me.

Nevertheless, things will work out, I am alive and well, and someone has a sense of humor because for some reason, the driver's side airbag was pink. I knew that car and I were soul mates...

If you ever get on the Provo Center Street freeway onramp and see four big orange barrels where a cement barrier used to be or the tire and skid marks down the other barriers, you can say, "Wow....I hope that person survives adulthood."

P.S. Dear everyone who is concerned: Yes, I know it's not a laughing matter. It was terrifying. If you had seen me crying on the couch in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my face you'd know I didn't really think it was that funny. Except that now, that's kind of funny too.