For Days When You Hate Your Job

I love my job.  Of course I do.  Why else would I have gone to four more years of school and become "college educated" to get paid so little?  Clearly there was something behind it.

Nevertheless, no matter who we are, what job we have picked, how much we love it, or what we get paid, I think we all have days when we hate our jobs.

I hear you, Alexander.  I hear you.

Friday was one of those days.

One of those days when I needed: 

-a long weekend

-some quiet time without anyone bugging me and 

-the dream of never seeing a late assignment or stack of papers to be graded again.

It's days like that when I have to remember the funny parts of my job.  

After all, there are few things a good laugh and a three-day-weekend can't fix.

These are some of the funny things that have happened in the last couple weeks.  Here are a few:

We have been talking about Native Americans.  The kids got pretty into it.

Boy:  Uh...do you think I could become an Indian?

Me: Well, I'm not sure you can just...become one.

Boy: But, like, do you think they would let me join them?

Me:  I'm not sure.  Maybe you should ask them.

Me: Spanish explorers sold some of the Indians as slaves.  It wasn't just people from Africa who were slaves.

Girl: I wouldn't wanna be selled because I'm precious.

Me: This tribe of indians thought bears were their ancestors!  That's why they didn't hunt them.

Boy: Well, what if they did genealogy and found out that just wasn't true?!

Boy: Yeah, in scouts we learned all about that stuff.

Girl: Miss Waite, my sister asked me why boys get to do scouts and go hunting and girls learn all the gospel stuff.

Me: When it says "Father" in the book, it is talking about a person who is Catholic.  "Father" is a word like "Priest" or "Bishop."  It's a title.  

Kid 1: Oh.  Well, what do you call a girl Catholic?

Me: They have some women who are nuns.

Kid 2:  Nuns?  Oh yeah!  I've heard of them.  I even met one.

Me: That's great.  For those of you who haven't met one, you may have heard of some or seen pictures.  There have been some famous nuns, like Mother Teresa. 

Kid 2:  Yeah!!!!  That's her!  She's the one I met!

Me (trying not to laugh): Wow...Isn't that nice?

(considering she died at least six years before you were born...)

Boy reading his journal to the class: ...and then we went to Pizza Pie Cafe.

Another boy raises his hand: Well, was there are girl there wearing a shirt that said, "Stop Checking Me Out!  I'm Not On the Buffet!"  Because that's my sister.

Me: It was complicated between the mountain men and the Indians.  The mountain men shouldn't have stolen their stuff or killed a man, but the Indians shouldn't have pretended to come in peace and then killed the whole group of mountain men (except the four who got away).  They both had good things and bad things that they did.  

Girl, very thoughtfully: Well, don't you think if they would have just had therapists back then, none of this would have happened?

So true.  Where is Dr. Leo Marvin when you really need him?

Me: Name some rainy day words.

Girl 1: "Rainbow!"

Girl 2: "Umbrella!"

Boy 1: "Shoot" and "Awwww....."

Boy 2: "Beeeeeeeep!"  

Girl tattling: Yeah, he was being mean to him.  But it's weird because they'll be friends, but then they won't.  It's like....It's like they're frenemies.

Me: Is the book scary?

Girl 1: No, I don't think it's scary.

Girl 2: It's not scary, exactly, it's........I don't know the word.

Me: I think it's more creepy than scary.

Girl 1: But isn't that the same thing?

Girl 3: So it's.....screepy?

There you have it.  The next time I have a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day," I will remind myself that I should do my genealogy and keep a therapist nearby, so that things don't turn out as horribly for me as they did for the "precious" Indians.  

Of course, if I were an Indian I would still probably just have to learn the "gospel stuff" while the boys figured out how to survive, which I'm guessing would make us frenemies.  

That's alright.  As long as it didn't rain, things would probably still turn out okay.  But Awww, beep!  Rain is a little screepy.  Maybe I should find Mother Teresa.  She'll probably make me feel better.  And if that doesn't work out, I will just become an Indian.