Dear Kid....A Little Advice About 4th Grade

Next week is the last week of school.  In some ways this year has flown by.  In others, it's been a million years since it started.  That was three roommates, one engagement, one marriage, and two root canals ago.  It's been a big year.

I asked my students this week to write some advice to the new incoming 4th graders--you know, sage wisdom, things they wished they'd known or been told.  Here are a few real gems....

Dear Kid,
I still don't know your name but I want to tell you what you will be doing with 4th grade.  You are in Mrs. Montoya's class.  You will like it.  Now let's get down to business.
(Yes, to defeat, the Huns...)
Math is not hard.  Science is fun.  Book reports are not hard.  Keep your class money.  Don't go to Think Time
(a punishment where they have to go visit another teacher and tell them what he or she did/should have done/will do in the future...).
Don't shout out.  Don't be late from recess.  Have fun.  But not too much.  And make sure you have these things: pencil 2 or 3, pen 1 or 2, markers, crayons, glue.
Love, __________
Friend me on Facebook if a girl.  jk

Dear New Kid,
This class is a very awesome class, but we do work a lot.  For instance, writing, we do a lot of it, like 8 total stories and report, plus, we have to write poetry.
Reading buddies are also fun.  Because now we're the big kids that read the the second graders, and usually, it's lots of fun.
Mrs. Montoya is nice and fun.  But when we get into trouble, she lets us know it.  That's when she's in military mode, as we call it.  When she's very nice, she's in Disneyland mode.
You will have a lot of fun and love the year.
From __________

This is from a few years ago.
 Clearly, it was after "Military Mode."
I am the devil with the pitchfork.
Bryan is the angel with the halo and wings.
I found this masterpiece drawn on his desk.
 I secretly took a picture when the kids weren't there
 and then made him wash all the desks, including this treasure.
Soooo military.  Man.  Life is so hard when you are ten.  

*If you ask what my class looks like, I would actually say, "Military meets Disneyland."  That just means I believe in rules, structure, consequences, order, and responsibility. But it's still the happiest place on Earth.  If you're being good, I guess......Haha

This snippet will tell you about how sad school can be:

"You do a lot of fun stuff during the year....Oh, the sad thing is there's Think Time.  It is not fun even though I have never been there.  So if I were you, be good!"

I can only imagine the horrors she has dreamed up--never having been there and all.  But really.  Trust her.  It is NOT fun.

This one made me laugh out loud.  Clearly, she has been around me way, WAY too much.  I only hope a full summer can turn her back into a ten year old.

Dear New 4th Grader,
I am so excited to talk to you today. But in order to talk, I need you to be so quiet.  We need to talk about a lot of stuff, like book clubs, reading buddies, and much more.  There is one thing I actually want to talk to you about, which is "Cowboy Up."  You're probably wondering what in the world that means.  Well, "Cowboy Up" means don't ever, ever say, "I don't get it," or you will be in trouble.  Also, if you don't like something, don't whine like a cowgirl.  Cowboy up.
Love ____________

Okay, so "Cowboy Up" may have been the theme this year and the room is all decorated in Western stuff with horseshoes on the wall (Thanks, Emily!), but I don't recall it meaning EXACTLY that....

Dear New Student,
I am writing this letter to you because you'll probably need some help in fourth grade.
One is don't be bad.
Two is have fun.
Three is keep your money and save at least $100 for the end of the year so you can buy things from the auction.
The End.
P.S.  Save til the end of the year.

*They have class money they earn and we buy stuff with it.

This next one makes me feel like Teacher of the Year.  I will write it just like I got it:

"And the math, since, and wrighting are all verry easy."

Verry easy indeed.  Especially the writing, is appears.  Although "since" is a close second.  

This was funny:

Mrs. Montoya gets cooler every year.  She will be a lot cooler for you than she was for me."


Dear Future 4th Grader,
You are probably really awesome because you're getting a letter from me.  Here are some things you might want to know.  This teacher you have right now can be nice and fun like Disneyland or mean and strict like military.  Let me warn you that you have to do book reports, in my opinion they are the worst possible thing you can do.  Then comes math.  You have to learn math.  It seems dumb to me because when I go to Smiths with friends, I just grab whatever.  If it costs too much, I put it back (that's happened before).  So beware, because you're in for a long year.

So much for telling them they need to know how to estimate so when they go to the grocery store they won't spend more than they have....Clearly, that is NOT an issue.  Just put it back.  Put it aaaaaall back.  And then take a deep breath, because it's going to be a long year, Cowboy.

At least this was the last one I read:

Dear New Kid,
My teacher last year (3rd grade) said 4th grade was scary.  
(Thank you, for that rousing vote of confidence, 3rd grade.  You scared them before I could even go military on them!)
It's really not.  Mrs. Montoya is awesome!

There you go!  To all prospective third graders--if you can "cowboy up," ignore the fact that the math is totally irrelevant, and save your money, it appears you will make it out fine, just fine.  Just don't whine like a cowgirl, because if you'll be really quiet, I'll tell something important: cowgirls aren't really allowed in such a military classroom.  After all, we won't say who, but it appears someone has a pitchfork.  Probably the one from Idaho.  So beware.  It could be a long year.  Third grade did after all, say it was scary.

Thank goodness it's almost summer!