Elk Don't Do Drugs

Kids are funny.
Period.
They make me laugh every single day.
I wonder what goes on inside their heads.  But usually, they just tell me, so I don't have to guess.

Spelling
Every week for spelling, the students have to write the words and draw a picture to go with it.  The word was "fact."  This is what I got:
Fact: Gorillas don't eat mud unless they are hungry.  Really hungry.

I'm so hungry I could eat some mud!

Red Ribbon Week
Remember the whole week you used to spend reminding your nine-year-old-self to "just say no" to drugs and alcohol?  Well, they still have it.  This year, my students each drew a picture on a notecard for our poster in the hall.  These were some of them:

Say no to drugs if you are a elk.
I REALLY want to put the picture of this one.  A guy is offering an elk a cigarette ("Drug?") as he yells, "NO!"  I don't know about you, but I feel safer knowing that elk in our area are getting the message.  After all, the bottom says, "Elk don't do drugs."
The rest of you who aren't elk?  Party on....

"No thank you.  I will not take those drugs."

Don't do drugs.  I'm drug free so be like me.  
Awesome.  That was easy enough.  Everyone just be like Trevor.

Don't do drugs.  You'll be a bad driver.
Oh, is THAT what's wrong with everyone in Utah?!  I'm so glad it finally makes sense.  All that time I thought people just couldn't merge or use a blinker, and here they were, using drugs the whole time...

Don't be dumm don't do drugs.  (Arrow to trash)  Tis is were it should belong
Yeah, you got that?  Don't be dumm....

Don't do drugs or you'll look like this: (Creepy guy saying, "I should have never done this.")
Don't worry kid.  You're actually pretty close.  There's nothing scarier than the meth billboards they post all over Idaho...

Before: (picture of guy holding cigarette)
After: NO!  Yuck.  I hate it!  Can't breathe.

I guess you could say we've got a pretty clear picture on how it works with drugs around here.  If the elk would let those Utah drivers know that drugs are bad, then we wouldn't have creepy looking people who just can't breathe.  I would say Red Ribbon Week has once again done its job.

Cool Guys and Cookies
And finally, we have "Cool Guys and Cookies" this week.  It used to be "Dads and Doughnuts," where dads would come read with their kids for a half hour (while, of course, eating doughnuts).
If you need evidence that the economy is just not what it used to be, note that our doughnuts are now the much cheaper cookies, which of course forced the name to be changed too.  Although I still don't feel like it has the same ring to it.

Conversation:
Me: Don't forget Cool Guys and Cookies is this Friday at 9:15.
Girl: Uh, Miss Waite, it's also Crazy Hair Day on Friday.
Me: Yes, it is.
Girl: So...could our dads wear crazy hair too?
Me: Mmmmm....I guess if they want to, but they definitely don't have to.
Concerned boy: But...what if your dad doesn't have hair?

Valid concern, my boy, valid concern.  Somehow, though, I think he will be able to both read and eat a cookie with or without hair.  Unless he gets hungry (really hungry) in which case he can just eat some mud.  Fact.